Ten Kinds Of Crazy
by JeanyAlicia
Summary: Sam's girfriend Natalie is experiencing extreme feelings of angst which leads to self-isolation. Only some lucky circumstances get her out of it --- happy ending --- OOC-ish because no SN creatures. --- mention of different kinds of illnesses and abuses.


A/N: This is a total stand-alone because I bet I won't have the time to write a sequel. Still I would like to know if it would be sequel-worthy. Maybe one day I having too much time and out of the blue this will get a second part.

A/N: I got this idea while watching a documentary about the disease the protagonist is suffering from. So I'm telling you from the get-go: Natalie's confused and afraid and doesn't know what to do. If anybody doesn't feel comfortable with reading such stories: Thanks for the visit but this may not be your genre. This also is a warning for extreme-SN-fans. The story is kind of OOC because there won't be any mention of a supernatural creature that our Winchester boys have to fight against.

Disclaimer: I don't own the character Sam Winchester nor any other character that may not have been completely invented. (for example the doctor is a little Dr. House kindish). Sam Winchester and anything related to this fictional character belongs to Eric Kripke and the CW network.

**KM.**

* * *

**Ten Kinds Of Crazy**

Natalie was fidgeting around. Getting up, sitting down, crossing hands, moving pillows. She was nervous to the bones. 2am and she couldn't get the tiniest bit of sleep.  
"Honey, everything alright?" A muffled sound from behind her, a gentle touch on her shoulder but already too much for her to handle.  
She squirmed away from him, out of the room, out of the house.  
It was freezing cold outside. Natalie was barefoot, nothing else covering her but her pajamas. She wrapped her arms around herself but not because she was freezing but out of fear. She was afraid. Not of her boyfriend, not of his touches. In fact, she couldn't explain what it was but lately she started to feel uncomfortable around people, couldn't stand any kind of physical contact.  
"I bet I look like ten kinds of crazy…" she mumbled to herself while she was going for a little walk in front of her house. _Why is this happening to me?_  
Her boyfriend leaned against the door frame, arms crossed in front of his chest. He tried his best to be there for the girl he intended to marry one day but it was hard. So hard that he wasn't sure how long he could handle this situation without getting her help. What bothered him the most was the way she acted around people and especially around him. It was like she didn't want him to touch her, to talk to her… just to be near her. Natalie isolated herself and Sam didn't know how to react.  
He knew how to handle an awful lot of things – supernatural things. But psyche? Ticks or whatever this was, Natalie was experiencing? It was like staring at a blank piece of paper.  
Sam was worried. He observed her behavior and it definitely got worse over time. It seemed to him that there was no way around this if not with help of pycho therapists.

Two hours later, Sam was sleeping again, when Natalie came back inside. Her lips were a little bluish, she shivered slightly but other than that she felt better. First thing she did was taking a pleasantly warm shower. For some odd reason Natalie was most active at night. The reason may have been that at night everybody else was in bed and she didn't have to worry who could sneak up behind her. Every kind of presence was somehow scary although there was no reason to be afraid. This was her house, her boyfriend and nobody else. The doors were locked and so were the windows. And still she didn't feel save.  
The self-isolation got worse and worse.

Another month later Natalie actually tried to break up with Sam to get him out of the house. She wanted to be alone no matter what the cost. _I don't wanna be alone!_  
It was like there were two persons inside of her. The one that loved Sam and wanted him to be there – and the one that was terrified of everything in the world. The one that just tried to throw Sam out.  
"Wait!! What are you doing?"  
"I'm packing your bags." Natalie's voice was ice-cold.  
"But… what for? Are we going on vacation or anything?"  
"No. Well, you will. Kind of." She continued packing without looking at Sam just once.  
"I don't know what you're talking about. Would you mind telling me what this is all about?"  
"I'm… throwing you out."  
"What?!"  
"I can't handle it anymore, Sam! You have to go!"  
"Why? What did I do?" Desperation was in his voice.  
"Nothing. It's not your fault, it's mine."  
"Okay… what did _you_ do?"  
"Could we please not do this, Sam? Don't make this any harder than it has to be…"  
"Oh you bet I will!"  
Sam took hold of Natalie, spun her around and captured her in a firm grip around the shoulders.  
"What the hell is wrong with you?"  
"Let go off me!!"  
"Not until I know the truth!"  
"What truth? Please let me go, you're hurting me…" Natalie whined, trying to squirm out of Sam's grip.  
"Do you think I'm blind? I see you running away from me, isolating yourself. Just tell me what I did!"  
"Nothing! I told you! Please…" She actually started to tremble, unable to control herself.  
Sam loosened his grip a little. It wasn't his intention to hurt Natalie but he also didn't believe he exagerated. He was sick with worry and she just kicked him out to live out her crazy behavior. That was too much for Sam.  
"Listen to me, Nat. I'm not going anywhere, you hear me? I love you and I'm here for you! I'll help you get over it!"  
"You can't…"  
"Why not?"  
"You're making it worse!" By now Natalie was shaking violently. "Please let me go!"  
Sam tried to cool down before he let go of Natalie. He wondered if he would have dropped her otherwise. He left the room but screamed back. "I'm not leaving! Forget it!"

Natalie sank to her knees, crying bitter tears until her eyes were blood-shot. She fell asleep right there, on the floor, curled up like a baby.

She didn't expect to wake up in a hospital. Sam took the opportunity of Natalie being asleep to take her to a specialist. The girl he fought with was not his girlfriend. She was crying, shivering, pleading; he has never seen her like that. Then again he never confronted her with her behavior.  
"What…where am I?"  
"Relax, Nat. You're in a hospital. They're taking care of you.", Sam reassured her.  
Natalie tried to get up, noticing it was an impossible task. They restrained her.  
"What the hell is this? Take those… cuffs away from me!! HELLO?? Nurse!!"  
"They won't come, Nat. I told you, relax! The only thing they'd do is sedating you. Is that what you want?"  
"No…"  
"Needing help, Mr. Winchester?" A nurse lurked into the room.  
"No, thanks. Everything's fine." He put a perfect smile on his face so the nurse named Susan wouldn't be too suspicious.  
"Alright. Just call if you need anything."  
"I will." Sam nodded to get rid of the nurse.  
"'_Needing help, Mr. Winchester?'_ What was that? Is she having a crush on you?"  
Sam smiled. "Who knows. But I'm already taken." A moment passed before he continued. "Listen, they're sending a psychologist. Don't you wanna tell me what's wrong before he comes?"  
Natalie closed her eyes, 'relaxing' into the cushions. She was tense, restraints were very counterproductive for her thinking about how she tried to get away from any kind of touch.  
"Sam?"  
"Yes?"  
"You need them to get those things off of me."  
"I don't think they'll listen. They know you'd run."  
"That's not it."  
"Then what is it? I wanna help you. Give me something to work with."  
Natalie had her eyes still closed and it didn't look like she was going to open them soon.  
"I can't stand… touches. Of any kind."  
"How did that come?"  
"No idea." She was keeping it as short as possible. Her body language was screaming _close to panic attack!_  
Insecurity crept up in Sam. "Did…I do anything to make you… uncomfortable around me?"  
"No! It's not you."  
"Then who?"  
"Nobody, I've told you. Just please, please make them get me off the shackles! I can't stand it any longer."  
"Fine. But I need you to cooperate, just promise me that."  
Sam was looking at her expectantly but Natalie remained silent. She had a hard time controlling herself and her labored breathing.  
"I will, I swear." she said through clenched teeth. A little tear ran down her cheek and Sam was sure she was telling the truth. He left the room and tried to convince a nurse to remove the restraints but she was a cold-hearted bi– nurse!  
Just in that moment the psychologist came through the hallway.  
"Mr. Winchester?"  
Sam turned around to look at the man. "Yes?"  
"I'm Dr. Palmer. Ms. Lewis, she's your girlfirend, right?"  
"Yes, she is. I've got a little demand."  
"What's that?"  
"Could you please… remove the restraints? She's like… 'allergic' to touches and to be cuffed to the bed seems to make it worse. I'm worried she could get a panic attack."  
"That's really considerate of you. I see you care a lot for your girlfriend but before I can do that I have to talk to her and be sure she's out self-destructing behavior."  
"I'm sorry? She's just afraid to be around people, not trying to kill herself!"  
"Excuse me, I'm the physician, not you! Keep calm, go get yourself a coffee. We'll be finished in about an hour."  
"Does that mean I can't stay with her?"  
"No. Your presence could influence her answers."  
"It could also make her tell the truth." Sam argued.  
"Not if you're the cause."  
"She said I'm not!"  
"And you think she'd actually tell you if you were?"  
Sam murmured something incoherent while heading to the elevators.

The door slid open and so did Natalie's eyes.  
"Sam?"  
"Not quite. My name is Anthony Palmer, I'm the psychologist."  
"I don't wanna talk to you."  
"I'm afraid you have to. It's only to make you better."  
"Give me some antidepressants!"  
"Oh, c'mon. Don't be like that. I'm really here to help you." Palmer pulled a chair next to the bed Natalie was lying in. "Sam is out for an hour, you're free to tell me anything you want. He won't know about it. I'm bound to professional discretion."  
"There's nothing to tell you about."  
"I think there is. I'd like to start with some basic questions and you'd do me and yourself a big favor if you cooperated. Is that okay with you?"  
Natalie nodded.  
"Okay. First of all can you tell me what exactly you're experiencing?"  
Natalie hesitated. She wasn't willing to discuss her problems with a psycho doc but she didn't have much of a choice. He wouldn't go until she would have told him.  
"Fear."  
"Of what? Anything specific?"  
"Everything social. Like… this here. Makes me uncomfortable."  
"Can you give me a 1 to 10, 10 being strong feelings of fear, 1 just a little?"  
"Three.", she answered truthfully.  
"So you can take this, right? I don't want to push you too much. It's only the first session."  
"First session? Does that mean I've gotta stay here?"  
"Not necessarily. If we can make sure you're out of danger you can go back home with your husband."  
"Not yet."  
"Excuse me? Oh, right… boyfriend, I'm sorry. So: Can you take it if I question you?" For the first time the psychologist actually sounded nice and not like a complete jerk.  
"I think so."  
"Good. You seem to be calm enough. Do you want me to remove those…"  
Natalie didn't even let him finish the sentence. "Oh yes, please!"  
Dr. Palmer released her and once he did Natalie curled up again. Just like the day before.  
"Are you okay?"  
"Yes. Yeah…kind of."  
"Can I continue?"  
Natalie nodded.  
"You experience fear. How exactly does this affect your everyday life?"  
"A lot. I can't go out except at night when I know I won't see anybody. I panic, I can't share a bed with Sam anymore, I can't stand it if anyone touches me, holds me down…anything."  
"I see. I have to ask you this: Has there ever been any kind of physical, sexual or emotional abuse in your life?"  
She didn't answer.  
"You know that by not answering, you're answering 'yes', right? And if so, we're gonna have to charge Mr. Winchester. You know that, right?"  
"Are you pressuring me to admit something that probably did not happen?"  
"Not at all. I just need you to answer truthfully. If you refuse to answer, Mr. Winchester is our best lead. I know you love him, I know you don't want him to be arrested but if he's done anything you were not–"  
"No!"  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yes! Well…no. But it wasn't Sam!"  
"So who was it then?"  
"It doesn't matter…"  
"It does! You can't cover up for someone who abused you in any kind of way. It's my job to make those people go to prison if you like it or not and I'm gonna stay here until you told me!"  
"You will have to because mentioned person died! So it does not matter anymore!"  
"How did he die?"  
"How should I know? Stroke? I definitiely didn't kill him and neither did Sam."  
"Because he doesn't know…"  
Natalie just nodded.  
"That's okay. I'm not going to tell him but I suggest you should tell him one day. He cares a lot about you. He practically stared the nurse down to get you free and… me? Whew, yeah he was angry."  
"So… what do I have?"  
"I don't know. There's more than one thing that could cause your reactions. I would like you to stay for another day and I come back tomorrow. Are you okay with that?"  
"Yes. I don't have much of a choice, do I? And I want to know what it is that destroys my relationship and my whole life."  
"Good. One last question. While I was asking you about–"  
"Go on!"  
"How did that feel? 1 to 10?"  
"I would say… an eight. It would have been a ten if you've left the restraints on me."  
"Okay. Thank you. I'm going to let Sam back in."

"What does she have?", Sam asked the doctor before going back to Natalie.  
"I'm sorry, I can't tell you. Professional discretion. You'll have to ask her."  
Sam wasn't satisfied but nodded. "Thanks, doc."  
"That's my job."

Two days later Dr. Palmer still wasn't sure about what Natalie had. He sent her home but only if she promised to come see him twice a week for more sessions.  
She was sick of the hospital so of course she agreed. Sam brought her home.  
"Are you okay with me staying here?", he asked.  
"Why do you ask? You live here for about a year and now you're asking me?"  
"Under these new circumstances I wasn't sure if–"  
"What new circumstances? Nothing's changed."  
Sam looked at her like she was crazy. _Now what? Everything I had to cope with for weeks and now she acts like nothing's ever happened?_  
"Honey, are you okay?"  
"You're asking that a lot lately. I'm fine!"  
That left Sam totally dumbfounded.

Another week later the hospital called hoping to having found the answer. Sam and Natalie drove there as fast as possible.  
Natalie's condition, by the way, worsened again.  
For the first time Sam was allowed to stay in the room for the session."Good morning, Natalie."  
"Good morning, doc."  
"Huh. I see you two bonded already.", Sam noticed  
"Aw, shut up, sweetie. Be happy we don't throw you out again." She laughed, really enjoying herself.  
"Okay, let's just start, Natalie. How do you feel today?"  
"Now that I'm here I feel better."  
"What do you mean?"  
Sam interrupted. "Her condition worsened a little since she got out of the clinic. Does that mean something?"  
"Well, it makes it worse. I do have a theory. A longer one…"  
"Just tell us.", Sam demanded.  
"Natalie, are you fine with me telling him what we discussed about in our first session?"  
She thought about it and although she knew she would feel ashamed, she also knew she could trust Sam. She agreed.  
"Alright. At first I thought maybe she's schizophrenic because it seemed to me her behavior changed fast. But then I thought it's more like a tick. Like she didn't like it out of a reason, maybe a crucial experience. That's the case."  
"Really? Why don't I know about it?"  
"Because I couldn't tell you." Natalie admitted.  
Sam rubbed over her back to reassure her but in fact it made her tense.  
"Don't… Sam, please…"  
"What is it?"  
"That's what I was talking about" Dr. Palmer said. "Get your hands away from her NOW!"  
"Oh my god, what did I do?" Sam was freaked out, panicking even more than Natalie was beginning to.  
"Nothing. I'm fine."  
"You're lying. I wanna know what it is!"  
"I'm going to tell you if you keep calm, Mr. Winchester." the doctor tried to reason. He waited until Sam and Natalie were both back to normal. "Your girldfriend has been abused. It's about ten years ago but something triggered this reaction. It's OCD."  
"OCD? That's obsessive-compulsive disorder, right?"  
The doctor nodded. "Do I have to explain what that means?"  
"Yes because I don't know what that means." Natalie interrupted.  
"OCD is an anxiety disorder characterized by involuntary intrusive thoughts. When a sufferer begins to acknowledge these intrusive thoughts, the sufferer then develops anxiety based on the dread that something bad will happen. The sufferer feels compelled to voluntarily perform irrational, time-consuming physical behaviors to diminish the anxiety.  
Long story short: The fear comes from this crucial experience I was talking about. That was the trigger. It was dormant for a long time but now something reawakened it. I still don't know what it was but I'm pretty sure it's OCD." Anthony Palmer explained.  
"And what do I have to do to make it go away?" Natalie asked.  
"You need a strong will. And you need to let Sam back into your life. Not just him but everybody. You can't isolate yourself anymore and you have to learn to be okay with physical contact. I'm going to help you achieve this goal but ultimately _you_ have to want this, Natalie! I bet Sam will be with you all the way, right?"  
"Of course! I'm gonna be there for you, sweetie!!" he promised.  
"I know. But I can't force this to work, Sam."  
"She's right. It's a long and crucifying process but you'll achieve your goal! I know that. You're strong-minded, Natalie. You just lost track of it."  
"Thanks, doc."

Exposure started the next day. Natalie slowly but surely learned how to trust people and how to be okay with being touched, being in a full elevator without any possibility to get out; things like that. She's learned to control her ticks. After a few weeks of constant training one could see Natalie and Sam walking hand-in-hand down the street – by day!  
That was a huge step for Natalie and her relationship. They both knew it would be hard and some of it would always remain but they also knew they would face their problems. They had the will and they were not going to give up.

Nevertheless Natalie didn't expect what was awaiting her just a few days later.  
Sam got down on one knee and looked up to Natalie.  
"Sweetie, we've literally been through _a lot _lately, we're living together for almost two years and only now I feel like I finally noticed what I have in you. You're the most important thing in my life! All that rejection because the OCD nearly killed me but we made it. We made it together! I know we're strong enough to achieve whatever we want and I know how much I love you. I don't wanna have to live a single day without you. Therefore I ask you" He reached into the inner pocket of his jacket and pulled out a little casket. He opened it. Inside there was a beautiful diamond ring. It would fit Natalie perfectly, Sam just knew that. "Do you want to marry me?"  
The look on her face was unique. She knew one day she wanted to marry him but now?! It came totally unexpected and that was probably just the right way for it to happen. Without thinking much about it she answered: "Yes! I do!"


End file.
